Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
