well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
