Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
