She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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