3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
