I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
