its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You made out with two different species that night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
