Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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