so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
