Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
