That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
