First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Two words: nipple clamps
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