Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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