so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
