I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
