So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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