We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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