I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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