I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
