Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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