Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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