Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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