I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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