He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
