the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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