Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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