PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
