Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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