Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you still have your period?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
