Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
