I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
