The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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