I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
