I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
