so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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