we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
