Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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