That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
