they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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