he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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