i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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