Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
