I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
