I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
