Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
