I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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