I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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