dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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