that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
