I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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